We don't know who this guy is, but we did find this photo clipping laying on Dennis' empty desk. Based on the evidence, it seems Dennis took off running to Men's Fashion Barn for their annual Christmas Eve matching-socks-and-tie sale. If we know him, right now he's slugging it out with some feisty octogenarian 'neath the warm glow of a flashing blue light. But if that's what it takes to be on the cutting edge of men's holiday semi-formalwear, then that's what it takes! We salute your tenacity Dennis!

And on behalf of everyone at Current Marketing, we wish all of you a happy, safe and healthy holiday. Now go eat, drink and be merry!

If it's true that it takes a handsome man to pull off a truly hideous sweater, it's easy to see why Rob is considered the best looking guy in the office. Once, he parlayed those star looks into a lucrative modeling career, at least until destiny intervened.

"Trav Fimmel, Mark Schenkenberg and I were all on break from a shoot in Williamsberg, Virginia," he recently told a reporter from Men's Vogue. "On a lark we decided to head over to Busch Gardens for a ride on Apollo's Chariot. We were half way down the steepest drop when an albatross hit me square in the face. Wrecked my trademark dimples forever. Who would have guessed that Fabio and I would go the same way?"

Such a tragedy. But if it's any consolation, Rob, you'll always be a poster boy to us.

Why is this woman smiling? Obviously, because after decades as a dog breeder, Lisa has finally succeeded in fulfilling a life-long dream: the 8 point labradeer. "For years people have laughed at the very idea of crossing a canine with a ruminant," Lisa said recently. "But who has the last laugh now? These animals are going to be the must-have dogs of 2009. Not only are they obedient, fun-loving and loyal, they'll graze for hours on your back lawn, saving you thousands a year in kibble and yard maintenance costs."

Um…great idea there, Lisa! But won't those horns be a little hard on my upholstery?

Let's face it, lumps of coal in the stocking aren't always the most effective motivator for the truly naughty. So when Santa needs enforcement, he calls on this man: Ricky "The Reindeer" Schardein.

"Christmas isn't all sugar plums and mistletoe," said Schardein in the recent VH1 special, Santa: Behind the Red Suit. "There's always that segment of the population that won't be nice no matter how many candy canes show up in their stocking. That's where I come in, because when the carrots don't work, ya gotta use the stick."

What exactly is that stick? Schardein wouldn't comment on-camera. "Let's just say you don't want to show up on my naughty list. I'm not the guy you want coming down your chimney on Christmas Eve."

We believe you, Rick. We believe you.

Who knew that twenty-five years after the demise of Nick's 70's-era dance troupe, Lord Funk-O-More & The Electric Spank, a few of the old stage props would come in handy again. "These lights were part of my 'robot' solo," Nick said over drinks at the office Christmas party. "I'd slip on the specs and start moving all jerky, then the lights would start blinking and people would go absolutely ape."

He adds for the record: "The trick to a good robot is not to move your arms too much. The pivot points are all in the shoulders, waist and ankles." Thanks for the demo, Nick! I promise none of us will soon forget it.

I received a notice in my email this morning that Yahoo! Music is changing. Really? I wasn't aware that there WAS a Yahoo! Music. Apparently so. Why they are sending me a notice to my GMail account I don't know. I've never signed up for their service, and it isn't a phishing attack (I checked).

This is what Yahoo! had to say:

We currently are in the process of evolving Yahoo! Music to further meet the needs of our users and give music fans more of what they want.

Awesome! They're going to start giving away DRM-free music? They're going to feature only good music? They're going to stop foisting Brittany Spears on us? I read the next paragraph.

Therefore, on the 15th of December, Yahoo! Music UK and Ireland will be reducing the number of radio stations available to the most popular radio stations on the service. In late January both our radio and video services plus our artists pages will be discontinued entirely.

Huh? This is giving the music fans more of what they want? OK, I can take this one of two ways. Either music fans were clamoring for Yahoo! Music to be discontinued, or people don't want to download music. I'm skeptical of both propositions. They closed the email with this:

Our revamped news and blog pages will continue to function until we launch the new-look Yahoo! Music before the summer.

Please click here for more information.

So apparently they are going to relaunch. Maybe it's just me, but it seems to me that if you're going to relaunch your service in a totally different direction, and you want to alert your users, you might want to lead with that straight off. Something like "Hey, we're going to expand our listings and make more information and music available to you! Coming Summer 2009!" You also might think about developing the new service in parallel with the existing one to keep the more than 25 users of Yahoo! Music from switching to Limewire in the intervening months.

Overall communications score: C- (Had they not included the link, they would've gotten an F).

Skiing may be the sport of kings, but it's not without its dangers. Take for example poor young Donovan here, who's been frozen solid in this position ever since he was overtaken by an avalanche on Paoli Peaks this weekend. We expect that he'll thaw out to the point he can start getting some work done around Thursday. Until then, he'll be standing in for the hat rack by the front door, pretty much 24-hours a day.

As a young nerdling, Sean knew very well what it was like to be tricked or cajoled into licking ice cold light posts in winter. That's why as an adult he founded the National Tongue and Frozen Pole Awareness Network. "This is an especially tough time of year for geeks and spazzes," he said. "Right now, all over this country, socially awkward young people are stuck to frigid pieces of metal, glued there by their own frozen saliva. Our mission is to be there wherever and whenever frozen pole trauma occurs, with warm water, gauze and understanding."

Sean, we salute — and snicker at — your noble efforts.

Though you wouldn't know it from the way it's been edited, this photograph was taken in mid air — some 10,000 feet off the ground — from the helmet-cam of another member of Allison's stunt holiday skydiving troupe, The Kringles. "This dive wasn't supposed to be chute-less," she recently told Jumper Magazine. "But when I yanked my cord I came away with that blasted poinsettia instead of silk. I'll tell you this much, I'm never letting a $#%&* elf pack my chute again."

We're just glad you made it to the ground safely, Allison. Ho! Ho! Ho!

It’s one thing to win a bunch of state fair ribbons for hypnotizing farm animals, it’s quite another to start practicing your dark arts around the office. Sadly Anthony didn’t exercise this sort of judgment when he used his powers of suggestion to convince Katy she was Dasher, one of Santa’s reindeer. Now, instead of managing media strategy, all she does is prance around the office playing reindeer games and begging for kernels of feed corn. Way to go, Svengali! I have a campaign that needs to go out tomorrow!